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    • Ceafus 88

      As I stumble across this barren wasteland, I often think to myself, "Was it really worth it Nigel, was it?" I sit down on a small log that was once a towering oak, that has fallen to the the perpetual winds and acid rain that seems to never come to an end. "This is my life now," as I continue to gaze into the stars, waiting, wondering if there is really life out there. There has to be, I know there is. I cannot be the only one left, who will I make play dough swords with? I have to find a way to reach them. I walk back to my small garage, and yell at Gourmet my trusty albino giraffe. I pat her ears and say, "This time its forizzles my dizzle" She snorts a snot bubble and gives me a lick of approval. I collect the saliva in a jar and place it on the shelf to my right, not directly to my right, but a nice 33 degree angle. AH YES THE NON SYMMETRICAL LIFE OF A MAN. I then saddle up Gourmet and tell her, "Be gone you slimy harlot, we must not wait any longer, Krispy Kreme shaped skittles await us in a far away galaxy!" As I try to get Gourmet to hustle her bustle, I notice a glimmer in the road. I jump off my large steed thats not a steed, and land nose first on a heroine needle. I scream bloody murder, but it doesn't matter because no one really cares because they are all dead. I tell Gourmet to squeeze her testicles together to pull the needle from my face and she looks at me funny, and screams in feminazi, "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER." I kinda looked at her for a minute, and realized the heroine was taking effect on me. I whipped out my trusty handy mandy pandy box of Krabbie Patties and carefully placed the green part in the shape of a star, so I could summon the green giant. I looked at him and bowed in his greatness and said "Sir, wonderful bringer of those nasty ass green beans in Walmart, can you please help me get this foreign object from my nose so I do not have to put up with Gourmet like this." He looked and me and began singing the Drake and Josh theme song, and next thing I know, the needle was gone. I soon felt better, and got my tushie back on Gourmet. It wasn't long and we exited the atmosphere. My nipples instantly hardened as I knew soon we were going to be getting down with the boyz yo dawg on planet zimmio. Sadly we never made it, because some jerk of an astroid heiled hitler and he captured me and gassed me. He sent me and Gourmet back to this rachet ass planet gurl. We then just sat around the alter playing Operation, dreaming about the days that we got to pick up the mail for blues clues. Excuse me, I am gonna cry now, STEVE WAS SO GOOD TO ME....
      · 3 replies
    • SpookyZalost

      Currently relaxing on one of my few day's off these days, when I'm not going to people houses and getting paid to fix their tech or going to school or trying to find a part time job to fill the gap

      gotta pay for all that hacker tech some how, and I have my eyes on some special parts for an upcoming icebreaker I'm looking into constructing... hold onto your butts people because your wifi most likely isn't strong enough
      · 0 replies
    • Aldini10  »  Ceafus 88

      I clicked on your signature link, it was cool enough to make me do that.
      · 1 reply
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